Parks and Recreation 4.01: "I'm Leslie Knope"

This week on Parks and Recreation: dick pics. 9 toes. Traegerisms. We've got it all here on The CPT:


Parks and Rec is back, and not a moment too soon. I missed you Leslie. I couldn't do without you April. And you Ron, sweet sweet Ron I just could not survive a second longer without that mustache.

So when Leslie and Ann started celebrating her impending candidacy, I was jumping for joy. Right off the bat P&R broke out the goofy humor, with the two ladies yelling "Yay!" over and over as if Leslie won't have to break up with Ben. Oh but she will.

Right then, the ultimate Ron-is-Fonz moment! Running from his ex-wife Tammy Uno, Ron (hey remember he didn't have eyebrows?) burst in and needs Leslie's help. He casually makes a stepstool out of a shoehorn and the wall, and gets his emergency pack from behind an air vent. Kind of like Dexter, except I'm sure Ron's killed more people. Our rugged hero has some 200-odd vacation days, and he's taking them all now. Ron wraddles (portmanteau indicating characteristic running style) down the hallway and is gone. Cue music.



We come back, and our main storyline revolves around Leslie in the pre-planning stage of her campaign for city council. The good news is she's probably going to succeed (and keep the show on-air for an indeterminately long run [!!!]). The bad news is that Leslie has to explain to Ben that they're breaking up. Easier said than done, because Adam Scott is simply too funny to be dumped.

Well, it also happens that there's a penis picture circulating around City Hall, and Leslie has to handle the fall-out. She meets with Perd Hapley (I'm just realizing his name-appropriateness because he's so completely hapless) and explains there have been penis pictures and thus women should be in charge because they cannot commit such acts of phallic-transmission. This is potentially impressive to voters for God knows why, and Leslie's campaign team wants to move forward immediately. As in right this second. As in go break up with that raccoon-looking guy right now. Even if he gives you an eclair in the shape of the first letter of your name

Except L-shaped eclairs make men irresistible. Trust me, I know. So they fuddle around and 'opposite of break up' due to eclairs. Ann won't have this; she informs Leslie she needs to be direct and honest. So Leslie goes out to dinner and is direct and honest... to the waitress about her wine preferences. Then Ben tries to give Leslie something else that is presumably wonderful and sex-inducing, and she freaks out. She goes to visit the whiz palace (context clue: probably bathroom?) and runs away from her problems to Ron's backwoods hideout.

There, Leslie and Ron do the usual buddy stuff; s'mores, fishing (I've never caught anything before and it must be because I don't use a rifle), wood-choppin', problems-runnin'-from. Ron has a huge beard, which is as close to pornography as network TV can get. They both realize they need to stop running from their problems because he's "Ron Swanson, and you're Leslie f-ing Knope!"

So they come back. Leslie is going to announce her candidacy, and she's ready to face Ben. He has a gift for her before she talks though: a "Knope 2012" button. He's known about the campaign all along, and totally gets it, and she's gotta do herself before she does other people, and it's not you it's me, and they're broken up amiably. He figured it out a while ago, Leslie makes speeches in her sleep and he remembers how specific they are.

CUT-TO: she makes one of those speeches. She smiles sadly yet hopefully. Fin.


Some other things:

-Joe from Sewage sent the penis picture. The joke's on him, as Ann thinks he might have a disease. That's right, mumps on his lumps (nice one Joe). And now everyone in city hall sends Ann pictures of their packages to make sure there are no manufacturers' defects and/or potentialities for coitus with the ravishing Ann Perkins. Big kerfuffle, Ann has to tell everyone to stop, they don't, she brings in a doctor, he checks out everyone's junk. Sounds like an awful job.

-I don't think Entertainment 720 is doing too well. Or maybe it is, and Tom Haverford is dressed like a European vacationer, not an overworked guy with smelly hair. What do I know? If I had to put money on it though, I'd wager to say Tommy Timberlake is coming back to the Pawnee gov't sooner than later, on account of NOT HAVING ANY CLIENTS OR CONTACTS (did they not make that clear enough in this episode?)

-Tammy One is an ice-queen. From the IRS. No wonder she's so much scarier than Tammy Two, Ron is absolutely opposed to her existence. Apparently she's here to serve him an audit (makes sense, Colonel Tea-Party doesn't pay his taxes). The good thing is she notices that April has bad posture, and commands her to sit up straight. You're much prettier when you're not slumping, Mrs. Dwyer.

-I usually don't find Leslie funny, but her descriptions of Ann are always perversely amusing, and this week's "Ann you beautiful sophisticated naive newborn baby" was the culmination of years of similar statements. That's what they call putting the work in. Also, Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman riffing off each other in the woods is true greatness.

-Apparently Jerry has a huge dong. Never has a doctor made me feel so uncomfortable, and I get a probing thumb between my testes every 12 months.

-Andy got a higher paying position. April is a pretty hot temporary boss. Donna wears a bikini OVER HER SHIRT thank goodness.


Knope "Nope" count: 1

Favorite Lines:
Chris: "If I could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, I would."

Chris: "Mr. Mayor, I promise you. We will find the owner of that weiner. And we will punish him" (Oh yeah you will. Winky face)

(re: dick pic)
Leslie: "Well frankly Perd, it's not that big of a deal, if you know what I mean."
Perd: "He he, I don't know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke" (Perd is so meta, he could definitely write for Community)

Chris: "Your inbox is lit'rally filled with penises."

Ron: "I have the toes I have, let's just leave it at that."

-DR will be covering Season 4 of Community. Please make sure to drop some fish flakes before you go.