Louis CK Live at the Beacon

Hi errbody, we're coming back after a "finding real-people employment period." Welcome, and I hope you'll stay with us as we expand and diversify into other countries.


If you know Louis CK, you know that there's no way for me to properly describe how imperfectly evolved he is. If I had to put it in one sentence, he's a moralizing masturbatory sweaty guy who hates everybody in an abstract, absurd way and yet comes off fully genuine in a social commentary that reflects a deep hope for humanity or at least his children. And that sentence doesn't even scratch the surface of who he really is. It's hard not to relate to the guy in a way that my shitty writing won't capture, so I'll stop my commentary and just give you a quick snippet of the standup.

"People get angry at environmentalists because they think they're slowing down the economy and creating restrictions. And a lot of these people are Christian, a lot of these people are very devout Christians.

That's such a confusing thing to me, because you believe that God gave you the Earth, that God created the Earth for you. Why would you not have to look after it? Why would you not think that, when he came back, he'd go 'What the fuck did you do? I gave this to you motherfucker, are you crazy? The polar bears are brown, what'd you do?! What'd you do to the polar bears, did you shit all over every polar bear? Who spilled this shit? Come over here, did you spill this? What is that?

(sniveling idiot voice) 'It's oil, it's just some oil. I didn't mean to spill it'


'Well why did you take it out of the fucking ground?

'Cause I wanted to go faster, it's not fast enough, and it was cold'


'What the fuck do you mean it's cold? I gave you everything you needed you piece of shit.'

'Well cause jobs, I wanted a job'


'What is a job? Explain to me, what's a fucking job?'

'You work at a place and people call when their game doesn't work and you help them figure it out'


'What do you that for?'

'For money'


'What do you need MONEY for?'

'For food'

'Just eat the shit on the floor, I left shit all over the floor, fucking corn and wheat and shit, ground it up make some bread what are you doing?'

'Yeah but it doesn't have bacon on it, I like when it has like bacon on it'"